Cultural Pet Peeves

You want to know what annoys me? There's quite a list, but I shan't mention them all. And I do not list the following to be snide or rude or culturally insensitive. I have never done anything intentional to be culturally insensitive (though I have been tempted!). Nonetheless, these are the things that still get to me after living in this country for more than a year (for a year and three months, to be exact).

I'm still a baby in this culture, still oblivious to some things, yet so uncomfortably aware of other things. This, in and of itself, is an annoyance. I think it would take a lifetime to get used to another culture, even one that seems to be, on the surface, so similar to my own. On to the ones that really get me...

• I speak Polish...well enough. But it's not enough anymore to understand all of my surroundings, including, for example the following situations:


• I still don't understand everything in the church services. I go to church with my friends. My friends speak English. My friends don't translate. Sometimes they help me find the Bible references, if they were paying attention long enough to get it. Generally the pastors are either so elloquent with their words that I can't understand a thing (or only a few words and what good is that?) or they speak slow enough, simply enough for me to get the picture, and understand about 80% of what they are saying, which is pretty good. This leads me to the next one...


• When I do understand, and on the rare occasion that my reliant translator comes to church anymore (she's a pastor's wife, so she visits other churches with him...her husband is American!) I never hear the Gospel message! Law, guilt, Law, guilt, mixed in with a big dose of more Law! It's getting really irritating. No wonder these people look so oppressed all the time. Maybe it's not simply because they are still remembering the Holocaust (which they do), maybe it's because they don't hear the message of Salvation, Justification, Grace, etc... and neither do I!


• The "hymns" here. They are not hymns at all. They are Hillsongs praise songs sometimes set to organ music. Sometimes keyboard and violin. It's beautiful. (sarcasm) I'm not going to rip on Hillsongs right now, but I just don't think a worship service is the place for them. Me, me, me, I, I, I. No. Stop it! It's about Jesus! I want my good LSB hymns back! I want a meaty, substance-filled church service for a change! I want the Gospel, and I want it now! And I want it and long for it for all of Poland.


• Now onto other situations... But let me first tell you that my Polish language skills were once really good. They impressed people, lots of people. Now that I'm back to teaching English every day in the classroom, I'm not using it. Therefore, I'm losing it. So, my friends that witnessed firsthand how great my Polish was coming along, assume still that I am still just as great if not better. Well, that's just not the case, as much as I wish it were. It's worse. I feel like a year ago I was doing better. (I wasn't really very good last year Novemberish.) Anyway, I continue to go to their Bible study. I hardly understand what's going on. I end up getting frustrated, and then I get angry with myself. And then I disengage from the group mentally and start thinking about what I need to do when I get home, what lessons am I preparing for the next day or week, etc. I hate myself for it. One place I really need to be is in that Bible study, building relationships with those ladies, studying the Word (if in fact we did study the Word--another pet peeve)...


• Normally at these Bible studies, the ladies turn it into social hour. After our social hour, it becomes a topic, sort of related to the Bible, maybe based on a Bible reference, and then they ask how we can compare this to our lives today (add in another social hour).


• SCHOOL - Again, with the language barrier. I understand pretty well. Ok, really well (when I really try and when I can ask for a repeat, or if I know, generally, what the subject is). Soo... my kids. They talk about me. And I hear it. And it upsets me. Then I get cranky and it's hard to teach them, especially when they continue to talk about me. If I ask them about it, of course they deny it, or they say I misunderstood. How am I to know for sure. If I ask another teacher about it, they will deny everything. What can I do? How can I get over it so easily when they do not change their behavior and I know they are talking about me?


• I'm a missionary, but I'm not exactly allowed to bring the Bible into what I teach. Strange, eh? I know. I try to talk about my faith with the kids, or ask them what they would do in certain situations, but at the same time, I don't want to turn them off to it, so I don't push it. But it's frustrating to be here, doing something very different than what my picture of what a missionary is. I feel useless. No, I feel like a native English speaker being taken for granted. The schools see that someone is willing to come as a volunteer and they say, "hey! We want one!!" So they get a missionary, but upon arrival, they tell the missionary to leave God out of it. Great. And on top of that, they want me to teach the kids British English. Riiiight. It's charming, but I can't teach it. I still have conversations with British friends and don't always understand what they're talking about--we have different idioms, different forms, etc... AND on top of that, the kids don't care. I teach conversation. It's an easy class. I can't assign homework (not supposed to), no tests, just conversation. Easy, right? Not when they don't talk. Try leading a discussion on that!

Well, that's all for now....all that are related to culture. I'm not proud of these things, and I'm not proud to say that these things are annoying or that they hinder my work here. I'm not even saying that I've got the right lenses on to be seeing everything clearly. BUT, this is the way I see things, and that's what makes living in this culture hard. And this is what eats at my soul every day. This is why I am so disappointed when I go to church, feeling so guilty about being cranky with my kids, and don't hear the Gospel, and then start another week feeling down, and then hear my students, get cranky, go to church.... you get the picture. And I'm not so blind that I don't see that this is a spiritual battle, because it is. So pray for me, if you will. Pray that I would be stronger, that I could have the power to say, "Get behind me, Satan!!" Pray that the emptiness, despair, gloom, and dark history of this country wouldn't get me. Pray that homesickness won't overtake me. And pray that I would have friends to encourage me, so that I can be an instrument of God, like He intended me to be.