Trying to Find a Teaching Style

I teach 8-12 graders. They are Polish kids, and I teach them English. Or rather, English Conversation. It's a broad topic. And it's not what I went to school for. Teaching, yes. Teaching EFL, no. I've been here for more than a year, so I know a good amount of Polish, though I don't use it in my classroom. It's disadvantageous to do so. Anyway, I digress. It's my second year of teaching, so better than the first, but still pining to find my very own effective teaching style. The school systems in Eastern Europe are so much different than those in the States or in England, so it's hard to even figure out my place with the other teachers (culturally, professionally), let alone the students. It's a struggle, and every day I hope I'm a step closer to being a better teacher. But it's not enough to hope, and most days it seems it's not even enough to love those kids. Some hate me, some love me, some don't care. I can't help but wonder if this is what life's all about: struggling to find your place. I hope not. Though it sure would be easier to find your place in life if we still adopted the practice of arranged marriages. Again, I digress. But my poor students. They have to deal with me trying out new practices on them. Some require me to be strict, others I hardly need to use discipline with, and with others, nothing seems to work. Maybe it's because of cultural differences, and the differences in the systems that we're used to.

Maybe it has more to do with the subject matter: conversation. Since we can talk about anything humanly imaginable, no one can think of anything to talk about, OR they don't want to (usually the latter).

No matter what the cause, it's a struggle, and it's my cross to bear with a smile. I just pray the day comes soon when I can reach out to those kids effortlessly and more importantly, effectively. Until then, I will continue to struggle, I will continue to pray for those kids and for myself. And I will do it knowing I'm another day closer to being a better teacher...and to retirement.